At first glance I seem like an extrovert, no doubt about it. I like to tell jokes and make people laugh… Which often gets me lots of attention, that I dont really enjoy. Honestly, I’m an introvert, I hate talking to new people, I’d rather be home alone reading a book, then out at a party, you get the picture. But sometimes, out of the blue, I force myself to try something very extroverted. And yes. Some of you will say, “Wow Keelin, that’s really not a big deal”, but for me, it is.
So I was in QFC in the checkout line, and someone I know from school (its summer break where I am) that I hadn’t seen for months was in line in front of me. It was a self checkout so I was trying to hide my face as much as possible, but when I walked by her to leave… I just said, “Hey”. Yeah. I know. Way to leap out of my comfort zone. But I had a mini hard attack as I walked away.
Being social with people I dont normally talk to is really hard for me. A lot of the time I lose confidence right before I do it. It makes me feel so awkward and uncomfortable. Later though, after thinking about it for awhile, I feel good. And this little warm spark is created. Of course I dont coax the fire to get bigger…. Cause that would be talking to more people. But still. Its nice. I dont know if I’m the only one that struggles with this, but I do know that going to high school will be hard for me if i dont start talking more.
Im not good at small talk. Which I think, also adds to the stress created by talking to people. I tend to either be joking around, or talking about really deep, emotional things. Weather is not my kind of conversation starter.
If you can relate to this… Comment below. Introversion does have its positivity’s, and honestly its not that bad.